FHM Pakistan
'My mother was equally a part of my childhood sexual abuse'
FHM Breeze

‘My mother was equally a part of my childhood sexual abuse’


I can never forget that day….I was just 10 years old! I was alone at home and was told not to open the door for anyone. But the doorbell rang and my close family relative was standing outside so I thought to open the door, something I wish I had never done in my life.

He came in and saw no one, and took the best advantage of it…ruining my childhood, leaving nothing but the worst memory of my life. I was sexually harassed and abused by my very own, whom I respected and trusted enough to let in the house when I was all alone.

I told my mother what had happened to me, as soon as she returned, with the hope that she would stand for me and fight against that animal, but nothing happened. She took my hand, hugged me and told me to stay quiet as that was best for me. I was left speechless, for the person I thought wouldn’t accept a scratch on me actually shut me down, leaving me completely helpless.

Her way of dealing with that scenario might have been completely correct for the sake of my image and future towards the society, but what about “standing against evil”? Her ‘no action theory’ may have stabled my future today, but what about the mental torture that I face every time I see that person come in front of me, flashing the incident in my mind like it just took place yesterday.

Does that not make my mother equally responsible for the abuse I faced? Does it not make her a part of it? What would have happened if she would have fought for me and tell everyone of the beast that man is? How many other girls must have faced his beastly acts just because they were told to ‘keep quiet’?

Aren’t we supposed to stand against the evils and injustice to make our place in this society? I was let down, I was shut down just because I am a girl; supposedly the only purpose of my life is to marry and live a happy life. I know what would have happened, if my mother hadn’t stay quite that time. She must have envisioned my whole life sprawled dead across her face. But, doesn’t this society shout about women empowerment? If she would have raised her voice that day, wouldn’t I had avenged myself and found peace and comfort in my own skin?

I respect my mother from the bottom of my heart, but the pain that I go through daily, may have not been as gut-wrenching as it is today and will be for the rest of my life.

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