The trees go on growing without anybody teaching them how to grow. The animals, the birds, the whole existence needs no programming. The whole idea of programming is basically creating slavery- and the man has been creating slaves for thousands of years in different names. When people become fed up of one name, another name immediately replaces it. A few modified programs, a few changes here and there in the conditioning, but the fundamental thing remains the same- that the parents, the older generation, want their children to be in a certain way.
According to me, the function of the parents is not how to help the children grow- they will grow without you. Your function is to support, to nourish, to help what is already growing. Don’t give directions and don’t give ideas. Don’t tell them what is right and what is wrong: let them find it by their own experience.
There is only one thing you can do, and that is share your own life experience. Tell them that you have been conditioned by your parents, that you have lived within certain limits, according to certain ideals, and because of these limits and ideals you have missed life completely, and you don’t want to destroy your children’s life completely. You want them to be totally free- free of you, because to them you represent the whole past.
It needs guts and it needs immense love in a father, in a mother, to tell the children, “You need to be free of us. Don’t obey us – depend on your intelligence. Even if you astray it is far better than to remain a slave and always remain right. It is better to commit mistakes on your own and learn from them, rather than follow somebody else and not commit mistakes.“
Love your children and enjoy their freedom. Let them commit mistakes, help them to see where they have committed a mistake. Tell them, “To commit mistakes is not wrong- commit as many mistakes as possible, because that is the way you will be learning more. But don’t commit the same mistake again.“