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Nadia Jamil shaves her head after chemotherapy

Nadia Jamil shaved her head after chemotherapy and wishes to be stronger for her kids and end her relationship with loneliness.

She shared that her hair had been falling despite the ice cap. “The centre had practically gone. I was left with the front & a little on the sides. It was petrifying,” said Jamil.

“That night I washed & conditioned it sobbing, w rose smelling shampoo. I knew this was goodbye 2 a part of myself I had hid behind 4 years. My hair, like many of us ,had been my vanity, the face I wanted 2 show the outside world. If it wasn’t looking good I felt nervous, bad about myself. & now it was gone. And I have to admit it was an ugly death. That night I laughed & cried w the woman in the mirror.”

She thought about all the prayers she made before going ahead for the biggest change in her life.

“Honestly that night, I never prayed 4 my hair. Or even my vanity 2be protected. I prayed that I love the woman who emerges from under it. I have never loved her..myself…as I should,” said Jamil.

“I prayed I learn how 2 self parent & become a better adult while retaining the love, spontaneity & fun I have in my heart. I prayed I learn 2 put myself first so I can take care of myself & others w empathy. If I am a mess, I am useless 2 those I love. I prayed 4 strategies 2 end my relationship w loneliness & fear,that stems from child abuse & I prayed 4 my creativity 2 be blessed.”

 

 

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The night of Laylatulqadr I was reading Surah Yousaf & the words Fasabirun Jamil stayed w me from an ayat of the Surah. Not just patience..but a patience of deep beauty. My hair had been falling in huge clumps regardless of the ice cap. The centre had practically gone. I was left w the front & a little on the sides. It was petrifying. That night I washed & conditioned it sobbing, w rose smelling shampoo. I knew this was goodbye 2 a part of my self I had hid behind 4 years. My hair, like many of us,had been my vanity, the face I wanted 2 show the outside world. If it wasn’t looking good I felt nervous,bad about myself. & now it was gone. And I have to admit it was an ugly death. That night I laughed & cried w the woman in the mirror. She looked quite crazy. I looked like an electrified laama. Wayne’s World meets Malang Baba. Honestly that night, I never prayed 4 my hair. Or even my vanity 2be protected. I prayed that I love the woman who emerges from under it. I have never loved her..myself…as I should. I prayed 4 my strength of character. I prayed I fulfill my responsibilities 2 my son’s,especially my foster sons, 2 the other children who i know will come in2 my life & 2 my best friends …my son’s Rakae & Mir. I prayed I learn how 2 self parent & become a better adult while retaining the love, spontaneity & fun I have in my heart. I prayed I learn 2 put myself first so I can take care of myself & others w empathy. If I am a mess, I am useless 2 those I love. I prayed 4 strategies 2 end my relationship w loneliness & fear,that stems from child abuse. & I prayed 4 my creativity 2 be blessed. I saw my weaknesses,they must be worked on by me & recognised my strengths,they will be appreciated by me. I closed my eyes & smiled at the love I am surrounded w. It will never again not be enough. It is. I prayed & mediated deep in2 the night. The morning after Laylatulqadr a kind gentleman called Rob came & clipped my hair. What was left Chotu,Ami & I tried 2 shave off,leaving nicks,bloody cuts & my beautifully shaped head. I looked at my eyes, my smile. This is Nadia Jamil. I held her hand & we marched off 4 #chemotherapy That is another story. I❤️U

A post shared by Nadia Jamil (@njlahori) on

In another post, she shared a video and thanked her doctors. “A huge thank you to the team at #Addenbrooks#hematology who didn’t just clean my pic line, feed me toffee pudding and give me my chemo, they also knew how to use a razor so helped tidy the patchy mess on my head,” reads the post.

 

 

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A huge thank you to the team at #Addenbrooks #hematology who didn’t just clean my pic line, feed me toffee pudding and give me my chemo, they also knew how to use a razor so helped tidy the patchy mess on my head The #NHS #mentalhealthcrises team have also been fantastic. They saved my life at a time I was in a really dark place. They simply didn’t give up on me. They are such #CHAMPIONS DR Luke Davies, Dr Farouhi, Sharon Saunders, Charlotte, Matt, Raquel, Marta, Dave, Yuki… Talking to them is simply a joy…they are so loving and healing. Then there have been those from home and away. Video calls every single day … Long intense loving messages. Thank you. It’s not been easy but you make it easier. Most of the time my phone is closed so the messages have been going to Mas phone. She reads them out to me and makes my day! Sometimes I come here and read the strength you all give me. Thank you! #igetbywithalittlehelpfrommyfriends

A post shared by Nadia Jamil (@njlahori) on

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