Imagine rolling out of bed with yesterday’s mascara smeared beneath your eyes from a lack of energy to remove your makeup the previous night.

Feeling overwhelmed by regretting events in the past and fixating on unknown challenges in the future. 

Some days are great, almost make you feel like everything is starting to get better. But one small inconvenience or a past memory, and you’re back to square one. An absolute mess. 

That, my friends, is depression. 

Saying “I’m depressed” because you feel down for an hour in the middle of the day is not it.

It’s being on the verge of tears because you spilled coffee on your clothes and not feeling the need to clean it up. It’s wailing out inconsolably on the ground because of it.

Some days I feel like I’m on top of the world. My oyster, really. I am in control and really, truly, happy. And then there are days when I feel everything and nothing, all at once.

Depression, is not easy. And it is definitely not a quirk to add to your personality just because you think it’s cool. 

What you can do, is ADMIT IT. Be weak, wimpy. Let those tears you’ve been holding back, fall. Feel the void. Get lost in the solitude you’ve been battling inside. Just let it all out. Be miserable. It’s OKAY. 

And then? Leave the pain behind in those tears you shed. Smile the real smile; not the pretentious one you flash while saying “I’m fine”

There is always hope, even if it’s hiding behind the darkness, it is there. 

All you gotta do, is trust the process…

The post It’s OKAY to be depressed. appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

First of all, it is essential to understand that certain things are off limit to me; this shadow of anxiety I carry with me makes me incapable of doing some things that a normal person would do. If you like festivals and social gatherings, you need to know, sometimes the thought of going makes me step back and cancel plans last minute. Sometimes I go and I am fine but other times I tend to panic and separate myself from the crowd because it becomes hard to breathe. It suffocates me. Just know, those are the times I need you to reassure me and be there for me. I need you to tell me it’s okay and i’ll be fine. Don’t let me send myself into an endless spiral of guilt tripping because I don’t choose when it hits me. . I’ll need to know that this is something you can do for me and know I’d do the same for you.

If you love to travel, just know sometimes it makes me anxious. From the process of the journey, to the flight. From making arrangements to getting lost in a new city. As much as I love exploring, my anxiety holds me back sometims. The fear of the unknown makes me tremble inside. 

I like visiting other countries, but in order for me to go with you I need to know a few things. If something went wrong could you calm me down? I need to know that you’ll ensure me we’ll figure it out, and stay with me.

Don’t lose your patience with me. Don’t make me feel alone. I need to know you’d put me first above anything.

I’ll need you to choose me. When I grip your arm or hand tightly, squeeze it back and know that I’m not okay. If I have a panic attack in the middle of the night, sit up with me even if you’re tired and don’t let me deal with it on my own.

Sometimes I’ll lash out. I’ll get upset with why I’m feeling that way, why I have so many restrictions enforced on my brain, and when you don’t understand how I’m feeling. Just remind me to breathe because sometimes I forget it’s okay to not be okay.

Most of all, please don’t give up on me. Even though I even drive myself insane and get frustrated with myself sometimes, I hope you don’t. I hope you can ground me, take care of me and just remind me I am worthy. I hope you can still love me more each day and not resent me for dealing with something I never wanted.

Until next time.

The post An open letter about loving someone with anxiety. appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

Unfortunately, mental illness is treated as a joke in our society, issues related to mental illness are not taken seriously. One of the primary reasons given by people who fail to understand mental illness is that since it’s not a physical wound it does not exist. Have you ever noticed that when you are in your circle, with your friends and one of them says that they feel depressed, How do we respond to that? either it’s awkward silence followed by a laugh or it is treated as a joke. When educated treat mental illness as a joke, how do you expect your parents and elders to understand this?

As educated beings, we must understand this because you cannot feel something or are not going through what the person in front of you is suffering from, that doesn’t mean he/she is not valid. Understanding the basics is the key.

First, you need to know the symptoms.

• seem sad or tearful
• appear more pessimistic than usual or hopeless about the future
• talk about feeling guilty, empty, or worthless
• seem less interested in spending time together or communicate less frequently than they normally would
• get upset easily or are unusually irritable
• have less energy, move slowly, or seem generally listless
• have less interest in their appearance than usual or neglect basic hygiene, such as showering and brushing their teeth
• have trouble sleeping or sleep much more than usual

Now that you are aware of the symptoms, here’s how you can help.

Listen to your friend

One of the best ways to help a person in depression is to listen to them with all your heart. you can start the conversation like this “Hey, it seems like you have been having a hard day lately, what is in your mind?” and remember they might not want your advice so just listen. Validate their feelings. You might say, “That sounds really difficult. I’m sorry to hear that.” Show empathy and interest with your body language.

Help them find support

f your friend seems interested in counselling, offer to help them review potential therapists. You can help your friend list things to ask potential therapists and things they want to mention in their first session. Encouraging them and supporting them to make that first appointment can be so helpful if they’re struggling.

Learn about depression on your own

Imagine having to educate each person in your life about a mental or physical health issue you’re experiencing — explaining it over and over again. Sounds exhausting, right? You can talk to your friend about their specific symptoms or how they’re feeling, but avoid asking them to tell you about depression in general terms.

Read up on the symptoms, causes, diagnostic criteria, and treatments on your own. While people experience depression differently, being familiar with the general symptoms and terminology can help you have more in-depth conversations with your friend.

The post How to help someone who is clinically depressed appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

When someone you care about is sad, you may feel compelled to give advise or wisdom with the best of intentions. However, if you don’t grasp the nature of depression and mental illness, the words you choose may not convey the message you wish to deliver. From your perspective, the phrases you use to express your feelings may appear clear and to the point, but the person with depression on the receiving end may feel attacked, misunderstood, or deeply hurt.

Don’t disbelief what they express

“People who need help often appear to be people who don’t need help,” wrote American author Glennon Doyle, implying that how a person appears on the outside does not always reflect how they feel on the inside. This is true of many mental illnesses, as well as chronic illnesses and conditions that are sometimes deemed invisible. Just because someone who is depressed attempts to hide it doesn’t imply they want to be laughed at when they finally admit how they truly feel. It takes a lot of bravery for someone to come out about their sorrow. If someone reacts with skepticism or disbelief, it may make them feel uncomfortable discussing their melancholy.

Don’t ignore them

Be honest if you’re having trouble figuring out what they need. Explain calmly, then wait patiently, ready to listen. Even if you have personally encountered clinical depression, your experience may differ from that of others. It may be difficult for you to sympathize if you have never experienced depression. In either case, the greatest thing you can do if someone you care about is sad is to be open and eager to learn.

Don’t tell them if they should try harder

Having someone encourage you to strive harder when you are already giving it your all may be depressing and make a depressed person feel hopeless about their condition. Depression can occur for a variety of causes, and a person cannot always manage all of the risk factors. It’s not as if a person can just “talk themselves out of” a bad mood after they’ve been sad.

Don’t blame them for what they are going thru

While a lack of mood-regulating chemicals is actually occurring in the mind, the term “all in your brain” has a contemptuous connotation. Hearing the term might make people feel assaulted, as if they’re being accused of “making it up” or lying about thei9r feelings.

The post Things not say to someone who is fighting depression appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

Mental health should be everyone’s top priority; be it your school, university, home, or workplace. When we are at peace and content, it reflects itself in the spaces we occupy and speaks through our work or actions. Our mental health is dependent on various factors that have a direct or indirect correlation with how we perform. To ensure that we are bringing forth our best version, it is essential to regulate our emotions and disregard any negativity around us which could be transferred from unpleasant situations, toxic people, or an unhealthy environment.

The best way to save yourself from unnecessary drama is to engage when necessary and with those that prove to be positive rather than demeaning personalities that suck the energy out of you.

Here are a few tips to keep yourself grounded and maintain a positive aura when the environment around you gets too toxic or takes a toll on your mental health.

Respect

No workplace is healthy unless there is a mutual respect for everyone’s privacy and opinions. Nobody should make you feel like you owe them something and each employee should posses a sense of responsibility towards maintaining their behaviour and not letting irrelevant circumstances dictate their attitude towards others. Everyone deserves to be treated equally.

Honesty

If the people you surround yourself with are not honest with you and act shady or respond only when they need something, it is time to remind them that there is no room for such things in your space. The concept of honesty has become alien, and everyone just wants to get on the bandwagon for seeking validation and looking good. However, this is quite damaging in the long term and speaks loudly about your priorities. Be honest even though it may be hard for a lot of people to accept this. Just be true to yourself and loyal to what you do.

Voice your opinions

It is so vital that we speak for what we believe in otherwise we spend most of the time overthinking and triggering our anxiety by wondering how things may or could have been.

Never be afraid to speak your mind because your opinion is important, and it helps you feel involved and add value to the team.

Be understanding

There can be instances when you or a colleague develop misunderstandings, however it is important to give room to each other to explain or understand both perspectives before jumping to conclusions.

Embrace creativity

The best way to remain at bay is to keep yourself creatively involved in tasks that inspire you and are of interest. When you have a passion for what you do, the results are bound to be extraordinary. Your work will speak for itself when you find ways to creatively enhance it and it will also enable you to stay motivated and add value to your projects. Once you see the response your work is getting, you are likely to keep pushing yourself to do better and improve yourself.

Avoid negative people

As much as all of the pointers above may help you to develop clarity and manage your mental health, you must remember that you are not bound to respond to any negative energy or people that constantly demotivate or bring you down. Avoid being rude but create firm boundaries so that the person who is stressing you out knows that there is a certain line, they must not cross and start respecting your needs as much as they expect you to respect theirs. The best way to keep a safe distance from such individuals is to stop responding to their erratic behaviour.

Wrong VS Right

These are some ways that you can assure your mental health remains a priority at workplaces, home, or around social gatherings. You are not obliged to be answerable to anyone that is constantly violating your boundaries or giving you a hard time. There is always a way to convey constructive criticism and that is all that should be welcome. If an individual takes a toll on your mental health or is constantly pestering you, beware of them. Take a step back and channel your energy into positive and creative solutions. Do not let mean comments, disregard or taunts stop you from achieving your goal. Those who do not want to see you succeed are insecure and afraid of the potential you have, do not let them win. Perform as a team and surround yourself with those who support each other and aim to grow together.

To conclude everything, it is vital to remember, if you don’t like something, take away it’s only power; YOUR ATTENTION.

Until next time!

The post Mental Health: Tips to ground yourself at work appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

A person like Justin Bieber who has fame, success, a beautiful loving wife and so many fans all around the world who dotes on him; what else could anyone possibly want?

But looks like, the singer has a really dark past which he opened up about on Instagram.

The 26-year-old singer just gave an insight into his life and all the mistakes he made before he was 20 in a single Instagram post:

 

View this post on Instagram

Hope you find time to read this it’s from my heart

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Sep 2, 2019 at 2:38pm PDT

The singer stated that he was just a little boy who got famous with millions of people all around the world showering him with their love and telling him how great he is. He actually started to believe it.

On his 18th birthday, the singer realized how he lacks any basic skill to set his foot out in the real world because he has been surrounded by so much wealth and had access to literally everything.

Moreover, he said how he made every bad decision anyone can think of. He abused most of his relationships along with being under the influence of heavy drugs.

The singer has made us realize how people have the ability to change even if they are consumed by darkness. All it takes is gratitude and kindness.

Go, Justin! It takes a lot of courage to speak up about something like this. 

The post Justin Bieber Opens Up About his Past appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

The following 9 drinks and foods can greatly help the treatment of this disease:

1 – Blueberries

Blueberries have potent antioxidant properties which reduce oxidative stress, which is the main feature of this disease. They also support the growth of new cells, which is also a way to treat depression.

2– Bananas

These fruits are rich n tryptophan, which is converted into 5-HTP by the brain. Afterward, 5-HTP is turned into positive neurotransmitters such as serotonin and melatonin. Moreover, bananas are also rich in potassium and magnesium, so make sure you have a couple of them daily.

3– Almonds

Magnesium is a miraculous remedy in the treatment of migraines and depression, and a 100-gram bunch of almonds contains 268 mg of magnesium.

This has been confirmed by a 1968 study which showed that the adequate levels of magnesium reverse migraines, irritability, and depression.

You should have a handful of almonds daily, and it is estimated that women and men aged 19-30 need 310 mg and 400 mg of magnesium, respectively, while 31 and older need 420 mg, and women 320 mg.

4 – Avocados

Avocados are high in potassium, 485 mg per 100 grams, and this mineral has been shown to treat stress and depression. Hence, make sure you consume an avocado during snack time, and some more during the day, as adults should get 4,700 mg of potassium daily.

5 – Asparagus

Asparagus is high in folic acid, and B vitamins, which improve mental helps by supporting the body’s tryptophan conversion, which in turn is converted into serotonin.

6 – Chocolate

Dark chocolate, or specifically, the cocoa in it, boosts the levels of serotonin and dopamine in the brain and lowers the levels of cortisol, the ‘stress’ neurotransmitter. Make sure you get 40 grams of dark chocolate daily.

7 – Spinach

Spinach contains more folic acid than all other dark leafy greens, and depressive people often lack it. Folic acid also boosts the levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain. Spinach is rich in magnesium and improves the antidepressant effectiveness.

8 – Salmon

Salmon contains  omega-3 fatty acids, which soften cell membranes and helps serotonin to reach the brain. If you take anti-depressants, it will reduce the side-effects, and boost their effectiveness.

Yet, make sure you always consume farmed organic salmon, and a whole fish contains 1 gram of omega-3.

9 – Green Tea

Green tea has been used in the treatment of depression for millennia. It contains polyphenols which boost the brain’s supply of dopamine and increase insulin sensitivity, which ensures a steady supply of glucose – which serves as a brain fuel.

Studies have shown that the more green tea you drink, the more benefits you enjoy. Therefore, drink more and feel less depressed!

The post Looks like hocane sisters were right, you can reduce depression by food appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

The actor started off her note saying that she has decided she would never openly announce her struggles with mental health and because she’s aware that the process of recovery it perpetual, she would “never ever be insensitive to its existence and causes”, adding “I find it hard to say more than this because of the extensive scrutiny on every word I’ll now utter but I will be brave.”

She continued: “I emphasised on the “right food” because it has been an integral part of my healing process, helped me survive and recover. of course along with the love and support of the people around me. The implication that “processed food is the “only” cause of depression“ was not at all our intention but to bring attention to the vital role food plays.

I was misunderstood despite my good intention. I have never been great at explaining my feelings in words and I do realise that therefore I keep away from interviews as much as I can.”

She went on to share that although she’s no expert on mental health, she will “always try to offer as much as I know if it can even help a single soul”.

“I only hope that what we are put through post-interview doesn’t discourage the people in position from speaking about what matters to the best of their knowledge in future. Lastly, let us be humans with our imperfections, flaws and mistakes. Don’t put us on pedestals so high that we are unable to touch each other’s hearts. Let’s try be more kind and more tolerant as a society.”

She has a point; while celebrities must be called out on problematic statements, we shouldn’t be so quick to “cancel” people.

The post Urwa clarifies her recent statement about depression appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

I have food on my table every day, roof on my head, loving parents and friends around. Then why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like I’ve no purpose? Why do I feel so miserable?  No, it’s not sadness. I shouldn’t be sad. I’ve everything. But, I feel like there is some external force that’s sucking me into itself. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like doing anything. Some days I just feel like sitting idle and on some days I want to cry so bad till all the parts in my body starts hurting. I want to scream. I want to just get it out. But get what out? I don’t know. All I see is darkness. Every time I close my eyes, I see darkness. I want to keep stabbing myself. I want to feel the pain. I want to feel what everyone does. I’m unable to. I can’t cry for help. It’s like every time I do, my tongue somehow fails to co-operate. My mind makes me feel guilty. Yes, I eat healthy. Yes, I pray. I do everything I should be doing. Then why do I feel this way? Am I ungrateful? I don’t know. At least that’s what people say. They say my lifestyle isn’t good that’s why I feel this way. I don’t know. I’m stuck. If that’s what depression is, then yes I do have depression and none of the things that the world does affect me. Gradually, everything is starting to fade and everything is dying for me. Soon, I will die too. I’m scared of living a long life because I know I’ll stay this way for the rest of my life. No person, nothing in this entire world makes me happy. I feel useless.

I actually feel the darkness as its consuming me. It’s consuming me and its eating my entire soul.

People say that’s because I’ve a lot of sins. Maybe I do. Maybe my sins are making me feel this way. But how come even the wrong things that I’ve done failed to make me feel happy? Aren’t your sins supposed to give you a sense of guilty pleasure? Something to be proud of at that very moment? Then how come I didn’t feel all of that even when I wanted to? No, it’s not my sins because every time I think about what’s wrong with me, my sins and my wrong doings don’t come before my eyes. It’s not the good things either. It’s nothing. Just a blank piece of thought that’s slowly being colored with my darkness. If that’s depression, then yes I do have depression and it’s never ending.

I feel like I’m at the brink of the end. I feel like crying even when I’m surrounded by the most loving people. I feel like crying when I’m out hanging out with friends. I feel like crying when I accidentally break a plate. I feel like my life is continuously switching between a colorful world and a colorless world but the power of the colorless one is so strong that it’s slowly taking over the colorful one as well.

If this is depression, then yes I do have depression.“

-Anonymous.

The post “If this is what depression is then yes, I have depression.” appeared first on FHM Pakistan.

Here are Five movies which shows Mental Illness as it actually is. 

1. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

This film is about a girl Susanna who suffers from Borderline personality order (BPD). She goes to Mental institution instead of starting her college after she had a nervous breakdown. When she goes to the Mental institution she sees that she is not alone in her suffering and there are others like her. 

2. Good Will Hunting (1997)

This film is a heartfelt classic. A young man named Will Hunting who has a brilliant mind and works as a janitor at university. He can solve difficult puzzles easily but aort from that he suffers from depression because he had abusive childhood. He overcomes his depression with the help of his therapist (Robin Williams). 

3. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

A beautiful mind is based on the true events from the life of Josh Forbes Nash Jr and the biography was written by Sylvia Nasar. Josh Forbes was a mathematician and his mind differs him from other people. He gets famous for his discovery of “Game Theory” but at that time he encounters Paranoid Schizophrenia (results is social withdrawal and hallucinations). It’s about his journey of defeating a growing mental illness.

4. Black Swan (2010)

A Thriller story about Nina Sayers who wants to become a professional ballerina. As she faces obstacles on her way, She becomes obsessed with being a ballerina. We see her dealing with tremendous pressure, as she stops eating and starves herself. She starts to physically self harm herself and scratches her back uncontrollably to bear a resemblance to the Swan she depicts. Nina stabs herself in the stomach as a part of her performance. Eventually she understands how destructive it could be to try this hard.

5. Still Alice (2014)

Journey of a young woman, Alice who gets diagnosed with Alzeihmers. As her memory starts to disrupts, she starts to fade away slowly. Her family watch in turmoil as they could not anything.

The post 5 Movies Which Depicts Mental Illness As It Is. appeared first on FHM Pakistan.